I write so I can breathe. I am constantly evolving, mindless at times, frustrating even perhaps but heck, I wouldn't change the smell of freedom that comes with writing.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Are we Afraid of Ourselves?

What is it that holds us together? What is it that makes us stop when we know what we are doing is right by our own convictions? Why do we need to explain everything? Why do we need to draw conclusions? How much time do we spend in running after money? How much time do we spend journeying within ourselves?

The revelation of what and who we are and how we can address our own spiritual needs is a journey that is full of awe, amazement and wonder. It is like getting under your own skin to know yourself, to try and understand what holds you together and what limitations we bind ourselves making rules all the time about almost everything. We are such an opinionated lot. We judge everything that comes to us. Among all the things we learn we seem to take a much longer time to learn to just be…to just feel, to just touch, see, hear, smell, taste without making a judgment about what we see, hear, touch, taste smell, feel. There is a purpose to everything in life; a purpose to you and me existing, a purpose to our being, to our possessing senses, to having a body.

Why are we so afraid to look within ourselves? Some things are meant to be and some are not. Life’s never a destination, just a journey you take. Say hello to a Thursday...a large dose of philosophy may not go down well. Never mind. We are who we are and there always is more to things than what meets your eye. Truth is, I'm not even flinging myself against the wall for anyone. I am made that way really. I so believe that I am meant to be at a certain place at a certain point of time and then move on. A very unlikely trait maybe, but perhaps there is a restless Taurean once in a while that longs to belong someplace only for some period of time before boredom sets in because the passions seems to have faded away for the kind of life lived. Let me not muse over this longer than necessary. Let’s just say I'm a mixed bag. Hard to understand but the truth is that my basic fundamentals about life actually contradict most. These are not rules I set for myself. Rules change with a change in playground…mostly. This is me. I am made that way, I find satisfaction in giving even when I have to go without something for a while because of it and as far as giving a part of you is concerned I don’t profess myself to be selfless. I am not really like that. I am a whole lot of negative things but essentially I am also someone who does not focus on it so much. Why focus on the negative when you can focus on the positives?

One of my most powerful mantra when life pulls me down is this quote:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” (Marianne Williamson)

- Sandy

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