I write so I can breathe. I am constantly evolving, mindless at times, frustrating even perhaps but heck, I wouldn't change the smell of freedom that comes with writing.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Sold

Creeping upon you, growing, like shadows lengthening in the setting sun, the feeling grows that you've been sold; to other priorities, like a slave for a few pennies or perhaps a lot of riches; love and friendship sold so you could set your life in order, forsaken in a deal of a lifetime?

Perhaps.

You know in the deepest recesses of your soul you let yourself be sold, by maintaining a silence, by raising no voice of complaint at the way you were being treated, by selflessly letting yourself be taken for granted. You somehow begin to know when people begin to lie, when there is for that one split second the hesitation to say something, the gaze averts, involuntarily the hand goes up to either touch the ears or the nose, arms get folded before they open again, everything sinks into the pit of your stomach and pulls at your heart, for that one split second that becomes long and relevant enough for you to just simply know that the lies have begun.

So, there it goes, the feeling of a sense of belonging and all you can do is then stand there and see your beliefs walk away, get devoured by the darkness that simply fills you to the brim.

All you do is stare at what walks away in the setting sun, contemplate where life has left you, stranded. You remain frozen for a long time, not knowing what to do because you have no idea anymore of what you should do. You did not walk away.

You stand there, on that one spot, see your film rewind through, play over and over again, driving you insane with words, touches, looks and feelings. Then, a part of you simply dies. You exist. You don’t live anymore.

And then…you begin to live again! Better! 
- Sandy

4 comments:

  1. oh it's always a cycle of death and resurrection... but the Good Friday always comes first sandy :/

    and though my life always comes as a review... a repitition of some memories that just cannot be erased in my mind... i feel grateful that i have come across all those people and experiences that i've had... i wouldn't be what i am now if they weren't there --- pro or antagonists-- they both play important roles in my life...

    sold to the issue of slavery... i wish to rise above that...

    and to recast my dreams...

    very very good writing sandy ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. :) There is more coming Melissa...was reading a book today and gosh did I get another perspective and I said Damn! That's so true...so, one of these days that will come up. I have no regrets. Writing is a good way to let it all pour out and empty my insides for better stuff :)
    Thanks for your thoughts...feels good to trigger off thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very well written and profound. The more I know you, the more I admire you..

    ReplyDelete
  4. @usha - do share your thoughts as well! make a start. You never know. :)
    Hugs! Love you!

    ReplyDelete