I write so I can breathe. I am constantly evolving, mindless at times, frustrating even perhaps but heck, I wouldn't change the smell of freedom that comes with writing.

Friday, July 15, 2011

The Point of Regret Being?

Priya - Thank you! You triggered this one :) 

Such a sordid somber word – regret! Priya, post your post in the Soul Studio, here is my post. Darn! Too many ‘post’ in this post. (Pun totally intended for want of anything better to begin with.

So, Priya posted this on the Soul Studio yesterday…was it yesterday? “Don’t waste your life by waiting to find out who you are but work passionately to become who you want to be.” Suman, Manisha and Kimberly gave it thumbs up and that was about the time I came upon the post. That got me thinking and I reflected on a lot of stuff I had read across the years about regrets. I keep wondering why people have regrets. I have made so many so called ‘mistakes’ in my life that I refuse to look at as anything but lessons. Perhaps, it is because of the endless encouraging forwards I get from so many people entwined in my life.

What is the point of regret anyways? I mean, did you not want that thing at some particular point of time in your life? Of course, you did! So, why look back and regret it? We all have the freedom to make choices. We all made our choices. Not making a choice, by the way, is also a choice. I hear a lot of people say, but I was forced to... No you were not. You forced yourself to make that call then and that was your choice.

We have one life to live, plenty to give, endless dreams to achieve and hey, there is just this one life to live. Each tiny minute, brings us closest to our biggest reality, to death. Whether we like it or not, that time and distance is shrinking. Make the most of what you have. Don’t worry too much about who did what and who said what. What is important is what you did with what you have. There are no right answers to life and there are no wrong answers. Everything is relative. One thing you need to survive in life is passion. If there isn’t any passion or a spark in you, you will pass all of this by without even realizing you are now old and haggard and wondering where time went. Why spend time on regrets when you can put it to better use to be who you want to be. Find that one thing in you that you want to light up and follow it. Be kind to yourself. I keep saying this like a mantra over and over again every time the disease of regret calls. It is my insulation.

I have just stepped out of a relationship. I am sad it is over but then, I know there was a time when I thought it would last forever. Don’t we all? However, at that point when I said that I am happy to be a part of your life, I really was. It doesn’t mean I have never had regrets in life…I used to. Now, it seems such a waste of time. It’s lonely now, but I'm okay with it. I have become contented in just where I am and what I am doing. It does not mean I have any fewer problems than the person next door or that someone else has any fewer problems in comparison to mine. It just means that I want a lot from life but I'm, despite the want, okay with what comes my way.

Maybe it is something I do not wish to waste my time on because my life isn’t over yet, not yet. Until the last breath, whenever that will be, I will still have the chance to be who I wish to be. What a marvelous gift that is! There is a reason why the time of our death isn’t ever known and we do not know when it will come knocking at our door. That reason is to allow ourselves to make the most of what we have and make it all better. Who wants to compete with the person next door? It used to be such a big deal. When I was growing up, it was all I heard. Not unusual. Most of us have been there and heard it. We all write and say what's on our minds and what's not. Memories are always like that, some good, some bad. We don’t chase them away. Best is to acknowledge its presence and get on with life. I don’t keep regrets otherwise my pile and burden would be too much to carry.

Each time I lose something, I learn a lesson. My biggest lesson has been to accept the fact that I am not like everyone else. In fact, I do not ever wish to be anyone else or like them. I like me. I don’t hate myself. I am my own competition. When I meet someone like me, I am delighted. It is those rare bunch of people who make me smile from my soul because I know that we can agree to disagree and still be friends. I love you all! Each one of you. You are all a reason why I have no regrets. I am digressing! (as usual).

And yea…this really is something I know. Been there. Done that. Take it a day at a time. Be there for yourself, be there for others as well. Be there most of all for those who never mention they need you because they need you the most and that is one thing you never want to look back and say …I wish! Damn I am digressing. End of post. No regrets about digressing either.

Whatever meaningful you want in life and whatever you want to make of it, may it come to you! 
- Copyright@Sandy 2011


  1. Bang on! This is where I am too in my head...and this is my POV...exactly! :-) Does everyone tell you that???

  2. @Priya...mostly :) I can't make a living out of it...or can I?
    I've been labeled an agony aunt...Oh the agony of it all!!!

  3. Really, really VERY GOOD one!It touches almost everybody's life on this earth. Some realize it, some live in agony all through & some keep coming across such good words which makes them realize the reason to get up again & live, live with NO REGRETS!!- Neeraj

  4. @Neeraj - Thanks! Glad you related to it!

  5. Regrets have a very important point in life. If we don't regret anything, we will likely commit the same mistakes over and over. However, if we regret something once, the next time we're on something important, we will try to act so that we don't regret it after that something is over. Rgeret, therefore, is a very powerful signal.

  6. Agree K, The powerful signal tells us we need to learn the lesson and move on...I look at moving on rather than letting the regret stay. Either ways, to each his own. :) The power is formidable - it filters through differently for different people.
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  7. Very good reflections in life Sandy. I kind of missed taking cups of coffee with you :) No regrets in there :P

    Anyways, when I relfect on my own life and the things I did in the past, I do regret some things I have done and have failed to do but I don't dwell on the negative feelings attached to them. I hope on the things I have now and what I could make of my life with the decisions I have already made.

    Life is really simple and life is a bliss. Positive thoughts ;)

  8. http://write-jobs.blogspot.com/2011/06/paying-market-chicken-soup-for-soul-say_28.html