I write so I can breathe. I am constantly evolving, mindless at times, frustrating even perhaps but heck, I wouldn't change the smell of freedom that comes with writing.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Those Who Made a Difference - 1

You know, it is very easy to not be grateful. This year has taught me the value of letting go what isn't worth my attention and being grateful for those I am blessed with. A number of times this year, I faltered, fell, fraught with despair and extreme pain and the journey so far could not have been possible without a whole bunch of people. It made me realize that while my personal life isn't going great, the support system I have of friends is absolutely amazing. I have been touched over and over again by such immense faith in my abilities as a human being even when I wasn't sure of it myself, that I can only thank God for this fabulous gift of life that surrounds me and the people who touch my life in countless different ways.

Thank you Guruji. Thank you God! Period.

Each time I find my strength waning, I look at my daughter who makes me so proud. She has this way of picking marvellous moments of telling me, in her child-like way of the reasons why I need to be just who I am. I cannot be a perfect parent but she has absolute belief in me as the best Mom in the world. There is no school one goes to to learn to be a parent. She has taught me to be a Dad and a Mom. Now, who cannot be grateful for that? Thank you Mickey! I love you! I will always love you more than anyone else. Always.

My Mom has learned more things at this point of time in her life than she has in all the years Dad protected her and pampered her. With the immense strength, resolve and resilence of spirit, I have learned that I do find myself wanting to be stronger for her sake, to listen. I have learned a valuable lesson by watching her all these years. Only those who are there when I am not at my best deserve to be around when I am at my best. I love you Mom. You and I have had a tough journey and I know, without a doubt, I wouldn't want any other person as my Mom in any of my future lives if such future lives exist. Perhaps, I'd understand better. Thank you for everything.

My Dad. My hero. My brother. My sibling and my die-hard spirit. There is no courage, motivation in me without you two. I would never ever give up on either of you. Ever. Those who thought I would ever do that have got to be kidding me. They have no idea of what you mean to me. They never will. I love you both. As for those who think I will ever give up on my family...well...up yours!

Kanan. Thank you girl. You have been an amazing sounding board for me through the past two years. I could rave and rant, sigh and cry and be absolutely whatever I wished to be. I love you.

Reba. I love you. It doesn't matter how often we catch up or don't. There is a side of me, unspoken, that you are such a huge part of. That equation ain't easy to get by. You have.

Amit. I do not feel I do not have a son because I have you. You are the light of Megs life and I am glad that you have been around when I have needed you. I love you.

My ex-boss Naresh Asnani. Thank you for healing my life. Without that book you gave me to read, this journey would not have been made easier. They say, books connect to you and come to you when you need them. Yes, indeed. Thank you for showing the light. I wish you are always blessed. May others light the way for you as you lit mine.

My ex-boss Ramesh Touraney. I have learned so much from you in the past two years. You have added that sense of fun and humour to my life. You have listened to me when I needed to talk and when I absolutely couldn't. Thank you for tolerating my emotional upheavels. You always helped put things into perspective. Be blessed!

Sonam. I love you! All the decades of being away from you didn't make it any tougher to whisk you away on a trip. Just like that. You added fun to the time I spent and I would be game for a holiday with you anytime. You made me forget I was going through so much. That was really needed. Hugs!

Pema. Shaan. Tenzing. Anuja. What amazing bunch of girls you are! I love you. There is a lesson in frienship that one learns only from those who knew you when you were in school. You suddenly discover, you did make a difference. You discover you are not judged for what you are up to right now...and that they will always be there. Hugs!

Sammy. Laxmi. Antra. Amar. You are really easy to be with. You guys (including Laxmi, Rebu, Amar) really got me back into social mode again after all these years. Thank you for making me feel like a fun person. I had forgotten about that Sandy.  Hugs. Love you all!

Raj. Thank you! You gifted me 'The Pilgrimage' and opened a world of self-actualization. It is rare to be able to pick a book from a personal collection and be able to take that as a gift. Boy! Did I choose right! It was a journey that taught me lessons. Thank you for the time spent. Thank you for introducing me to Sudha. Thank you for the ride to the airport. Hugs!

Shruti. You remember that evening you showed up to be with me while I shopped alone. It made a difference. I thought it was really sweet of you to do that. It touched me. Thank you girl. Hugs. 

Kannan. My sounding board. My kick-in-the-butt when I need it most. There is a world where everything is a discovery, a possibility, a new beginning, an experience. Through the years, you have been that. Time hasn't really stopped to let a conversation fade away. Thank you for not believing the shut door was a locked one. Thank you for the nudges and the hugs. Thank you for helping out with Tashi. Much appreciated. Love you!

Meenal. Dhwani. Vedaant. Thank you for being there for Tashi. For helping prepare her for what was one of the toughest things she had to face in a long time. In your own way, you made a difference. Meenal, thank you for taking such good care of me. I wish you happiness and peace. Dhwani and Vedaant...thank you for your hugs...for making me a child again in the time I spent with you. I love you all.

Gomati. My little one! It is always such a remarkable refeshing time when I meet you. I don't need to pretend. I don't need to be anyone but myself. Thank you for listening and not making judgement calls. thank you for being you...am glad you are back! Fun and laughter has a different definition with you. I love you.

Abhijit. Gone. But never forgotten. There are conversations that will never take place. There are poems that will not be shared anymore. But I know, you would have wanted me to be happy. Because, you knew just how sad I was. I bet you smile today. Because you know, I have, somehow, pulled through a hell lot. I miss you. 

Sudatta. You are such a bag of smiles and gladness. You are absolutely just how a younger sister is likely to be. Fun. Dreams. Sighs. Laughter. Silliness. Impatience. Sharing. I love you. Because of you, I have been thorough what an older sister would go through. It is not whose blood is in you. It is who cares about you. The painting you did has touched my heart. Hugs.

Kandy Sir! When someone is in the pits, it is difficult to be able to see how much there is in you to make it all work out somehow. You have been a strength and a huge support for me this year especially. I appreciate your presence in my life.God bless! Hugs!

Adannaya. I smile when I think of you. I haven't had so much fun working with anyone. I am glad you were in my team. I am glad I hired you to be a part of my team and took so much of time doing that. I wish I could have done more. I cherish the smiles, tears and the joys you have been a part of. Thank you. I love you.

Chika. That steady rock of reliability who has been with me for a long time. You are someone who can easily be the best example of how much a person can pack into a single day. You make it all seem so easy. I know just how hard it is. I admire your resilence and strength of spirit. Thank you for being there for me. I love you.

Precious. When she came into my family, little did I realize that she would BE there. Always there. She has taken such good care of Megs. Of Nike. Of me. I could have never managed my life in Lagos without you taking care of my daily issues at home. You have touched my life in countless ways every day. Yes, even on those days when I have not been a great person to deal with. Thank you for your honesty, for such immense loyalty and strength of spirit. Always be blessed. I love you!

Edward. I couldn't have asked for a better person to drive me. I also did not think that someone who drove me would be so dedicated and loyal. You have been there, no matter when I needed you to be there. Be blessed. I thank you for keeping me safe on the road.

John. Man Friday. Thank you for going out of your way to do things. May you and your family be blessed.

Annu. Thank you for being such a pillar of support. Hugs. Yes, I know.

Nena. Thank you for listening. Thank you for still being there.I love you!

Susheel and Arati. My fabulous friends. This transition would not have been possible without you. You have always been my haven. Always. I love you.

Karuna. Thank you for giving up your room and privacy for me. I really appreciate that! You will always have a special place in my heart. I love you!

Angsuman, Naheed, Amaan, Mita....thank you for the number of great evenings I have spent with you guys. I have always felt welcome. Hugs!

Pushpa. I know, we are yet to meet each other. But, you have had this immense belief in me when I could barely walk on a thread on my own. Thank you for being there. I love you! And yes...i will meet you soon.

Harrish. A brother. A friend. An amazing person who makes a difference in so many lives. You make a difference in mine too. A lot of the healing has been possible because you said the right things at the right time. I love you!

Arun. You have been a person who somehow has shown up and made me believe in myself when I needed to. Thank you for being such an amazing friend. Big hugs.

....this isn't over yet....the list will continue.

In utter humility, I bow my head in front of God and ask him to bless you and your loved one ten fold for the difference you all have made to my life. 

- Sandy


  1. Sandy.. I'm touched..i have tears welled up in my eyes..
    I'm glad that you are blessed with so many wonderful people who have touched your life in one way or the other..
    I wish you another great year of peace, love and joy!

  2. Ayswarya - thank you! Truth is, we all are blessed with a number of wonderful people in our lives...we simply tend to focus more on the bitter uglier side and pay too much attention to that than to appreciate what we have and be grateful that they touch our lives...in countless different ways.
    I wish you a fabulous year ahead as well! Hugs.

  3. Hmmm...I've read part 2 and it makes this first part all the more special :) I'm glad you have given each friend a description and it's like introducing them to me also. They are wonderful people. I hope you also included those who gave you crisis moments LOL... Both ways, they made you grow.

    Thanks for sharing this with us :)

  4. Sandy.. u wont believe the coincidence.. this thing not seeing the blessings in many forms and worrying about the bitter things, i had this with my colleague...

    Hats off to you and i feel grateful to Kannettan (Kannan Unni), through whom i got to know you..

  5. Ayswarya :) Most welcome. Big Hugs!