I write so I can breathe. I am constantly evolving, mindless at times, frustrating even perhaps but heck, I wouldn't change the smell of freedom that comes with writing.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Dare to Go Out Again

Oh yeah! Right!

For a person who barely had someone woo her in the old fashioned manner ever, it was like taking a plunge into I-have-no-clue-but-what-the-hell waters. Do people know how to date anymore? Is the same rule still applicable as was before? Err...what rules? So, yes, I had no clue and I decided to be brave enough to venture into dating again for a start. For a start, because, I haven't dated in decades. Yes, right. As unbelievable as it is, all my life, I have been more like a buddy to my guy friends and not really a date date. There is a difference. YES! Big Difference!

So, walking into a room full of singles can be pretty daunting. One says there is no pressure but I realized its pressure of a different kind. You know you have walked into a room full of strangers. You know you are suddenly out there, in the open...literally. You also know that every single person in the room has the same thing (err...) going through their minds...Oh my Gawd! They are all here because they are single, they are all looking for someone and they know I am looking for someone. An ICSE Exam suddenly felt like a cake walk in front of this.

What works and what doesn't and how does one know? Eventually, a party is just a small gathering that kind of assists you into getting to meet someone who will give you that look and all you will get is goose bumps. Hah! You gotta wait for that one. Trust me, it doesn't happen quite like that. When you are in college, it might be a way...when you are older, you have a larger scope of awareness, you have your own prejudices to nurse and let go of and then be open to wearing your heart out on a sleeve again.

My subsequent posts may have the insights gathered through the experience of attending several fun parties and hanging out with like-minded people but there is a basic fundamental process to this whole thing about whether it has worked or not. I believe that any encounter with the opposite gender and the same (why should I be biased towards hetrosexuals alone?) moves further when one considers what one comes away with from an encounter or a conversation. (If I use the word 'encounter, please do not assume it is in militant terms of being totally killed by a look.)

BIRDS. Something I learned from my mentor (not just for dating) but for any relationship, be it business or otherwise (however I am using it in the context of meeting someone and its impact, especially on dating and starting your life over), is that, every meeting with a person has some kind of resultant reaction to it. We are such a prejudiced lot anyways...it has to happen. And no guys, BIRDS does not mean chicks. BIRDS is what an encounter with a person leaves you with.

B - Breakthroughs.

At some point, if the meeting or conversation has taken place, one should find some kind of a breakthrough. Your head (or heart) should say, hey...now thats the thing!

I - Ideas

If you have had a conversation, it should be able to trigger off ideas in your head. They may not be remotely connected to the conversation but it has worked as a trigger.

R - Remembrance/ Reminders

Some conversations are great reminders. You remember something or are reminded of something you already know but had forgotten and has been refreshed by the conversations. How cool is that! It may eventually end up with the person being taken up or put off...oh well, you have to take the chance. Life's pretty much stagnant otherwise.

D - Decisions

There are sometimes decisions taken based on a meeting, a chance passing by hello or a conversation. How powerfully true is that! You will decide whether you want to meet again...or not. OUCH!

S - Sort it out

Sort it out...sort out that mad chaos in your head. Yes dahlings, there are so many things going on, but sort it out. Figure out the important stuff and criminally kill the not-so-important ones. How does it matter? If you just stepped into dating again, remember...everyone is on the same boat. It may look like a yacht to you or a small battered canoe...everyone is floating...sometimes with a compass and sometimes without.

Remember, above all, laugh, even at some cheap thrills...eventually, there is just one life and dating again can be fun. It is your choice. Make it work for you. And hey...let me know what your thoughts are.

The madness is there...as I read somewhere this morning...now, where is the method?



  1. Wonderful blog!! - love your writing style, appreciate you being very open about your experiences and for the BIRDS acronym ,,so aptly put. However, now the onus is on you to come up with a BEES acronym in the next installment, so that this series can become a "Birds & Bees" story :-)

  2. Luis - thank you! I will now actually have to work out the BEES! Did not think of that!!!! :)