I write so I can breathe. I am constantly evolving, mindless at times, frustrating even perhaps but heck, I wouldn't change the smell of freedom that comes with writing.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

What Does NOT Work?

Eating gooey chocolate fudge and sipping on some fabulous coffee can be really invigorating. I smiled as I scribbled on my notepad last afternoon. I also realized that this blog and post will eventually need a guy’s perspective on the stuff I write…I wonder if guys would share their thoughts or will someone be fun enough to come up with another blog that tells us what the men are thinking...

It doesn’t make me a pro-woman kind of a person all the time. I love my guys. I am simply an avenue of expression, observation, brainstorms and thoughts. Mostly thoughts.

So, these questions keep coming up in conversations that make me wonder whether we really are planets apart. You know, the Men are from Mars and Women from Venus thing; truth, we are all on planet Earth and hey, live with it. There is no perfect manual for getting hitched but there are a few things that make sense. If you are at a singles party to forge a relationship eventually, hang out with people, drink and share a conversations but hey guys, stay off the football on TV. You might just as well have stayed put at home.

Remember, you will meet tons of people and it takes ages sometimes to really find someone worth it. Do not pressurise yourself into being hurt and angry and envious. Indulge yourself in the fun part of life and it is as infectious as can be. There is humour in life. Remember, most of us are just recovering from having our hearts broken and are in the process of healing. Healing takes time. It is good to laugh. Take it a day at a time, a step at a time. There is chemistry sometimes but there is no perfect equation or formula.

Don’t compare the man you meet with your ex. He is not the same person. Remember, there is a reason why he is an ex. Don’t fall for that sweet talk. Most of it is bull. Every man makes mistakes (like every woman). Nobody is perfect. In contradiction, if he has messed up and he admits he is wrong and fights for you to have you back, he is worth giving another chance. Just, make sure he doesn’t have a wife/mistress stashed away somewhere. If you notice, there are two contradictory statements here. That is how life is; a deliberate paradox. Sort out the chaff.

It is okay to get jealous when a man talks to another woman but please, do not freak out. Subtle difference. Terrible results. Instead, talk to the man. Be interested in what the person does and actually learn something about it. It is not a textbook mantra but it helps. Tell the man how you feel. Men don’t pick up on hints. Aha! Neither do women. Sometimes you simply have to state things. The unstated, nevertheless, has its own charm.

There are times when a man does not have energy to speak or listen. It doesn’t mean they don’t care; it’s just not the right time. (Do call back though guys. The woman waits) Flipping that television remote isn’t really going in your favour.

There are tons of thoughts that nudge and question. Do men like a woman to flirt with them? Flirting and romance is such a fine art; subtle, deliberate, whimsical, teasing. When does one stop flirting and get serious? Yes, women like a man to flirt with them, with subtlety. Remember the word ‘subtle’. Women, men like women to flirt as well. It is a given.

Then again, who am I to mark out rules for anyone? I am the mouthpiece however, for a lot of women. (I'd like the men to share their point of view because that would help even out stuff at both ends) So, there is some substance in what I am saying. If you have asked a woman out on a date, don’t expect or accept that she shells out and shares. It is not done. You may ask me why. That is because if you have asked a woman out, it indicates you are interested enough in asking her out to get to know her better (correct me if this is a wrong thing to assume). If a man in interested enough in wanting to know a woman and has asked her out, you should want to spend on her. Also, just to let you know, it is not always an expensive date that works out. Paying attention and giving that moment importance is what works.

Remember, there is beauty in imperfection, a streak of madness in genius and the most amazing extraordinary in the ordinary. Life is short. Be ridiculous if you will. That will get you out there further than being boring will (for women read ‘complaining and boring’)

I am off. To hide. I can see the brickbats!


1 comment:

  1. Absolutely!! Just one point I would add to your magic mantra! Learn when to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the man/men you love, and who love you..and learn when to BACK OFF! Give, and take..Space.