I write so I can breathe. I am constantly evolving, mindless at times, frustrating even perhaps but heck, I wouldn't change the smell of freedom that comes with writing.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

What Men Wished Women Knew

In further conversation and a lot of reaction from men over my last post, here is what they communicated that they felt I had left out. Apparently, the ones who look at romance and dating as posted earlier was just a tiny part of the whole man-picture. I was told, you can't win a man unless you get all of him. But of course! So ladies, gear up, for, even as they get older, there are a few things men wish the women knew and understood. I don't know how much this is going to help but hey, I have to share. These are universal truths apparently. Yes, yes, the women ones will also show up. Here is what a man has to say...

Please communicate. Do not assume I know the interpretation of every mono-syllable you utter. 'Nice', 'nothing', 'how can you not understand' are open to a lot of interpretation and I get it all wrong apparently. It always seems you meant something else. Well, just say it. It saves us a lot of unnecessary arguments and dealing with the silent treatment thereafter. 

If you are interested in me, don't follow the advise of magazines and your friends and play hard to get. I like to know you are interested in me. Don't you like to know that I am interested in you? Hard to get can get interpreted as not interested. Simple as that. 

I like my space and time with my guy and girl friends. Much as I adjust to your world because I have now become a part of it, adjust to mine. My friends are as important to me as yours are to you. If I ask you out to meet my friends, it is a step in the positive direction and not the other way around. As much as you cannot stand my friends sometimes, I cannot stand yours either. That's okay. Remember, bitching about them with me isn't getting you brownie points. It is only giving me reasons why not to date you or be with you. Also, my girl friends are not out to steal me away from you. They are protective about me and that is okay. You would be just as pissed if I asked you to stop meeting your guy friends. It however does not stop me from being jealous. Contradiction here? Yes. That is who I am. 

Do not nag. If I am late and I've screwed up and I have said sorry, accept it with grace. You can tell me I messed up. Just once. I get it. I do not wish to date a nag. Repeating something over and over again only turns me off and makes me wish I didn't make an effort to be with you and was hanging out and chilling with my friends instead. 

I like to see you look stunning. It does not mean you have to cake yourself with layers of make-up. You look beautiful without it. The loveliest you look is in the morning when you have no make-up on and my heart tugs when I see you like that - without make up. Don't be afraid to be with me without make up. Yes, if we are off to a party someplace special, look special but don't over do it. Also, make up doesn't taste good. You do. 

My TV time is important. It helps me unwind. When I reach for that remote the minute I am back home, it simply means I want to unwind and feel at home. This is my way of unwinding. Yes, I also like to watch the games including the repeats. If you are seeking my attention while that is going on, being nice and lovable works better than being rude and naggy. It is nicer if you choose to spend that time sitting next to me cuddling up. Remember, I like watching TV. I like you better. You give some leeway and you get a lot more. 

I also like to be hugged. I like the feel of your hands in mine. It doesn't always have to lead to sex. Oh, I do like for it to lead to sex. If you do, its okay. Really. 

Try not to get annoyed over silly pointless things. It makes me wonder if you are stupid. Let me never question your intellect. It also makes me tell you silly lies I could avoid telling. What I really am avoiding here is you getting annoyed over silly pointless things.

I will call a number of times during the day or not at all. If I do, it means I am thinking about you and would like to know where you are and if you are alright. This is not nagging. If I do not call during the day, it is because I am busy and this does not mean I am seeing someone else. However, if you have been a nag lately, I am either chilling witth my guy friends playing pool or watching a game or having a beer or hanging out with one of my girl friends wondering if I did the right thing by dating you. The first advise from my girl friend is not about dumping you. They prefer to listen which you have not been doing. 

Please be on time. If I show up late and that becomes a reason for you to be upset, please know taking hours to get dressed is not cool. If I am impatient and you are getting us late, I will ask you if you need help. Know then that you are late and you need to simply get it over and done with. Asking me what to wear isn't working all the time. I respect your ability to dress well. If it doesn't look good, I will ask you 'What's this outfit?' Hurry. Change. Get out. I like to show you off. Yes. Dress that way. It doesn't mean you don't understand what to wear and when. Meeting my parents is not the same as going out on our own. Respect sensibilities. 

Oh well...the list is as endless as the women's list I am told. There is more...but that's later when I get more feedback. Until then...have fun, live each day as if it were your last. Appreciate the man in your life and if you haven't got one yet, this should pretty much give you an idea of what they wish for...a bit of it at least.



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