I write so I can breathe. I am constantly evolving, mindless at times, frustrating even perhaps but heck, I wouldn't change the smell of freedom that comes with writing.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Your Life's Playlist

Have you ever noticed something? When people visit or touch your life and leave a stamp on it, your playlist changes; your life can be defined by your playlist. We all know, one way or the other, love defines and chalks out the story of your life. Well, I reckon music does that as well. Think about it. When you meet someone or when someone new enters your life, you are touched by music that may have already been there and music that you have never in your life bothered to listen to. People you have lived with, grown up with; your mom, dad, sibling, friend, foe, lover, betrayer….

Now, go a little deeper than just that statement and think about what worked and what didn’t. Get it? There is so much that can be told about you simply by defining the music that rules your life. Yes, isn’t that like a bulb lighting up. My bulb lit up years ago about this but I never quite got into the flow of writing about it. We talk about it. At least I did, at regular phases of my life; of how the music you listen to is telling you about where your life has been, is heading towards or rather, really is.

I grew up listening to a variety of music. This formed the basis of my growing years…heck, my entire life to date. I loved some songs and the ones I really liked was the one where the lyrics spoke to me or defined who I was. It also reflected what I wanted and how I felt and aspired for. It didn’t really change. The pattern, I mean. Every phase of my life had a certain type of music that appealed to me, that I sang (or rather croaked) and believed in. All those growing years, falling in love for the first time, a memorable moment with someone, hanging out with friends, and a funny incident, it was all a part of me. It was a part of my soul speaking in a language I have no talent to form really except repeat.

I have no sense of creating music. Music can be converted into words, a poem or a piece. So can a painting or a picture but I can talk about that later. Music – ah! Much as I would want to learn to play an instrument, create something in music, I am handicapped in the same way my daughter is gifted. However, I also know, I am not the only one in the world. There are some like me. I do not draw comfort from that but draw a certain sense of satisfaction that I have still managed to be somehow surrounded by music that defines life. I had written a piece on books defining my life (let me not digress though) and yes, music too really does that, perhaps, on an emotional plane more than anything else. Soul.

That paragraph above was a digression really.

So, getting back, music is reminders of times; good, bad, and ugly it may be, but memorable. You don’t forget. Songs hide in recesses of your head until a memory reminds you of it. More often, though, it is the other way around. Songs remind you of people, moments, a smile, a laugh, a tear, anger, frustration, embarrassment, insult, friendship and love. It permits you to remember people you have otherwise not thought of in years and decades. It is akin to a touch-up on something that has greyed and faded.

Also, sometimes, the music you hate is what you begin to listen to just so you are with someone because you want to make that effort to know a person. There will be times, you discover a joy in a new genre of music and there will be times where your life will get frustrating because you are pushed to listen to a certain type of music that just doesn’t get to you. Pause here a moment. Think. What really happens? Are you making an effort to listen to that particular music? Are you listening because you have never heard it and you like what you are hearing and it is coming to you effortlessly? What is it that makes you hate the music? Do you link it with the irritation a person brings or the kind of person you think the person listening to it is? Is it eventually something you live with or let go? Quite like relationships eh?

Okay, here is the chain of thought. Music, like people, will come to touch your life. Some will stay forever or at least as long as you are alive. Some will be hated, some forgotten, some let go of, and others remembered either with a wistful sigh or a smile in your heart. Creeping upon you on a sad day, you will hum and sing your comfort numbers (yes, no matter how bad a singer you think you are) and some days, when you simply remember someone, you will touch upon or hunt for that melody….just to tune in to that memory and moment and re-live it.

Aye, there is life in music and, like photographs, they can conjure vivid memories of moments in your life; the marked moments that you somehow will never really forget because my friend, that, is what, touches your life and nudges you every now and then.

What’s your playlist?

- Sandy

Friday, June 29, 2012

A Different Kind of Love

The eternal hunt for love...yes, we are all searching for that kind of love. Is love at an older age any different from that of a younger preson? At some point of time I was inclined to agree and even advocated that it was the same. When you get older, you realise it really isn't so. It has worked its way through to the recesses of your innermost self and at some point you realise it really isn't just a feeling. Love has a soul. It is an entity by itself, undying in its quality and emotion.We simply tend to look at it differently as time passes us by. It is a kind of faith, we look at it like a religion and that is where we go wrong because it is only then that we tend to take sides. Ever heard 'love is all sham', 'there is nothing called love', 'it is only lust'...? Oh well! All that is when we look at it as a kind of religion. 

I made a promise to myself last year, early last year to be precise. That promise was to never ever settle for anything less than... Less than what, you might ask. I thought about that then and I clearly remember what I wanted in a relationship, in the man I would love. Sigh! Despite all odds (which seem to be so countless) I will never stop looking for someone who will complete me; someone strong enough and I mean emotional strength here. Lots of that. I know I want my man to care, pay attention, be there and love me to bits just the way I am. Oh! add trust and respect to it.

Is that a myth? No way! I do not believe so. You see, where everyone looks at love as a mere emotion I look at it as a soul. It is a Faith in itself. Love is my faith. That is why, while I have given up and moved on so much in life, I have, never given up on love itself. 

So, last year, when the man in my life decided to leave and it was some late February morning I made a promise to myself, that I will not settle for anything less than that. It's a tall order, says a friend. So be it. I know my capacity to give. I also want someone with that capacity to give. A friend asked me a couple of weeks post February, to wear my heart on my sleeve. Well I did. It has been a struggle within myself to wonder and argue whether it is sane to do so or not. 

Well! Wearing my heart on my sleeve has taught me one thing. It will filter everthing else in your life with clarity. It will take its time, hurt you, upset you, try to scrunch all kinds of miseries in your life...all with a purpose of preparing you for that one person who will be there, just like you, wearing their heart on their sleeve and watching out for another person who does the same. 

I haven't written in a long time but the conversations in my head does not subside. So, when someone the other day wanted me to not think and relax, it became clearer to me that I cannot do that until I will know and be with that person who gives me that utter peace of being in one place and not going anywhere because I have no thoughts beyond that particular moment. No pretences. No trying to think up a way to keep the conversation going. Nothing but that bliss, surreal in its quality and essence.

You may laugh. Does that even exist? Yes, it does. I was there once. Just once. I should have died then. It would have been just the right thing because I know I was in a good place. You know, that moment when everything is just right, peaceful, joyous and fantastically wonderful. Yes, I have been there. I will thus, knowing that such a possibility exists, never settle for anything else. Hurt me as much, trample over my feelings as much, rip my emotions apart but I won't  settle for anything else. 

Yes, this is a different kind of love. This is the kinds you would want to look forward to, the kind that wants to make you grow old together, share priceless ethreal moments and live that bliss. I won't say there won't be fights (let's be realistic) and those times that make you frustrated but it will not be the highlight then of your life. It will be a love that is of a different kind. It will be a love of the kind that breathes life into your days...that fabulous feeling of being alive, hopeful and free. 

So, having said that, I believe, so so believe what a friend told me two days ago...the forties is a liberating age. I say yes to it. 

Bring it on!

- Sandy

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Why is Love Important?

We all need a good tickle and a laugh or two. Life's too darned precious to be serious about forever. You see, Life does not last forever. You gotta make the most of it.

I overheard someone at a hangout..There's definite potential here — he just might be "the One"! 

That got me thinking. People, maybe it's too early to tell if this is really "Mr. Wonderful," but it does feel like you've found someone great sometimes. There's no strict definition of love, but there are some things to think about that might help you to discover if the relationship is meant to last. 

Do your best qualities seem to shine when he's around? Do you find yourself overlooking pet peeves just because he's the guilty party? Do you feel all warm and fuzzy just thinking about him, even when he's not there? When you think about your future, is he in the picture? These are just a few of the good signs.

There's no easy recipe for a long-lasting relationship, but you've found some of the main ingredients. Chemistry is definitely a great foundation. Then you add some trust, communication, and respect. Of course, a dollop of humor and a generous amount of romance make it much more satisfying. There are many more things you can add to make it better, but that depends on the needs of the relationship and the individuals. 

When the two of you have clearly mastered some key elements and seem well on your way to building a loving, long-lasting relationship, sometimes you have some doubts about him, or if this relationship isn't truly what you want, listen to your inner voice. "Forever" shouldn't be taken lightly. Try to explore your fears and concerns thoroughly. And, remember, if he's not "the One", that's okay, because you'll find someone who is even better for you. It's a win-win situation!

Ho, Hum...Ahem...who really cares. Love makes my world go round. Never mind the number of times it drowns me and kills me I do get back on my feet...It makes my world go around and if my world goes around I think it calls for celebration of life. I've discovered since I first fell in love (was I a gawky teenager then!!!), it only gets more meaningful when you are older. I understand today that there are certain things nobody can ever take away from me.

So why cry when there is no reason to cry...Instead celebrate life and love...it gives you countless opportunities to make the most out of it and to live and love, over and over again in this one lifetime.

Read this somewhere and I think it aptly puts across why it is such an important element in my life..."SOME DESIRE IS NECESSARY TO KEEP LIFE IN MOTION"

Oh Yeah!


Friday, June 1, 2012

Liebster Blog Award

The Liebster Blog Award was  gifted to me by my friend Pushpa Moorjani who is an avid blogger Papad Chai and has an amazing heart.

It is only right to pass on the award to a few bloggers I totally adore.

Varsha - babe this is for your blog Varsha Agnihotri the slices of life and matters of the heart that reaches out to so many who so need it.

Deesh - for the poetry Thought Drops that speak more than you do

Deborah Grey - for the stand you take and all of that which makes you stand real TALL literally Plunging Necklines is a pure 'come dare me' blog

Here is the award for you!!!


Keep going strong!!!!