I write so I can breathe. I am constantly evolving, mindless at times, frustrating even perhaps but heck, I wouldn't change the smell of freedom that comes with writing.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Remembering Abhijit

January will always remain a month of so many events in my life. It was also the month of Abhijit Dasgupta's really rude passing away in 2011. He never really listened to me and said the vodka in his glass really was the Absolut best. That got him. Tearing him away from Calcutta got him. A broken heart got him. I couldn't get him to stop. I yelled. I fussed. I patiently counseled. He was his own person, right until the day Karma decided she wanted him all to herself.

He was a lot of things for a lot of people. For me, he remained simply Abhijit. There was so much to the man, to his insights and to his observations. My association with Abhijit ranged from a much shared love for the music of R D Burman to really crappy Bong jokes and everything in between. He waited for both and we shared so much of this on Twitter. He would demand music when he wanted it. The #NowPlaying hashtag scored precious numbers and re-tweets.

He was a friend. A confidante. This too, at a point in my life when I was at the lowest ebb of my life. Oh! I have been through a number of them thereafter but none has caused me to howl so much as it did then. There were mad jibes at each other, sparring contests, humour as never before, intellectual fencing and it all made me feel he treated me as an equal. 

Abhijit had gathered up as much family in the virtual world as he possibly could. He had a dream of having his own fan club, of writing a book on Calcutta, little things about the city that was his everything. It is as if he wanted to connect people together before he left. He took promises from me. I promised. Simple. He believed Karma gets everyone in the end. More so, because we all blame Karma for pretty much everything that happens in our lives. 

Never meeting Abhijit didn't mean anything. His loss came to me as loaded in impact as it would for any friend I had for decades or an entire lifetime. He also is the first friend I lost to death, a friend I confided in and a friend I shared as much laughter and joy as was there at that point. He kept telling me I deserve better. Yes, and I believe him. I am getting there..and no, I am not giving up. 

- Sandy


  1. It's terrible to lose a friend. I lost one in 2010 and there are days when I feel so miserable that I end up weeping for days.

    Glad to read the positive note in the end.

  2. @Saru - also, I do not weep for those who pass away...I prefer celebrating how they changed my life. He did by making sure I held on to my self-esteem at a point when I badly needed to.